Dare To Be Vulnerable

I think being vulnerable means letting someone else see the authentic you. It is when you don’t hide anything and you just lay all your thoughts and feelings out on the table. I try to always be vulnerable with my close friends and family because I feel this strengthens your relationships and allows them to grow. However, being vulnerable is not always easy. Allowing others to see your weaknesses, your faults, your fears, and even your dreams can be extremely scary. Furthermore, I feel that some people see vulnerability as a lack of control or as being weak when in reality it is the stronger and braver people who allow themselves to be vulnerable, but because some people do have these negative views, it only makes it harder to do.

As I watched the Ted Talk I felt that it made sense to me when she explained how she noticed that the happier people were more vulnerable. I believe that if your open about who you are and what your feeling, then other people will be more likely to reciprocate and open up to you and this in turn will lead to healthier long term relationships, which I see as a direct contributor to happiness.

VALUES

The VIA assessment found my top value to be judgment and I very much agree with this. I look at situations from all sides and I always try to see the point of view of others. I believe that it is important to understand where people are coming from, how they got there, and why they act as they do. 

Outside of the assessment, I would say I value people and my relationships with them above all else. I am extremely grateful for my friends and family and thus I value anything that supports the growth of those relationships.  This includes always being honest with them, compassionate and understanding of their troubles, and treating them with kindness.

Looking back, I feel that when I was younger I use to struggle much more with who I was and what I value and even though there is still great room for improvement, I am much more certain in my values today. I believe this is because values grow and change with you. So as I learned more and saw more (both good and bad), my values developed and strengthened with me. 

I have always strived to be authentic in my values, however I am not perfect and have made plenty of mistakes in my day. There have been times where I jump to conclusions and don’t give people the benefit of the doubt that they deserve. I am not happy  with myself when I make mistakes as these and thus I feel that comes back into why I always try to see situations from all sides, because I try my hardest to prevent acting in a way that is not true to my value of relationships.

Encouraging Extroversion AND Introversion

I think that introverts are encouraged to act as extroverts because, as Susan Cain explained in the Ted Talk, today people emphasize the importance of being charismatic, outgoing, and even aggressive.  My whole life people have encouraged these qualities, whether it was in school, sports, or even just my social activities. I can recall many times when I thought, “why can’t I be as outgoing as this person?” or “why can’t I speak in front of people like that person?”.  Watching this Ted Talk however, gave me a new spin on things and it was that we need to stop teaching the introverts that they should strive to be like the extroverts.  That introversion can be a good thing and it can bring about just as much creativity as extroversion.  If we teach all kids to be extroverts, we’re going to be limiting their possibilities in the long run.  As Susan noted, many great leaders needed their solitude in order achieve all that they did.

Looking at Tuckman’s Developmental Stages Model, I feel that suppressing any member of a group would hinder the performing stage. This suppression can limit the creativity of the suppressed person and thus also the creativity of the whole group in the long run, which in turn would hinder it’s growth and possibilities. Specifically looking at the suppression of introverts, I see this as encouraging conformity by re-molding everyone in the group to act as an extrovert and conformity doesn’t lead to creativity or growth, but rather the contrasting qualities and ideas of the group will be the drivers of growth and change.

Oh and a little more about Susan Cain's views and a quick summary of the goals of her book can be watched here....

https://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=2Z5ZTDh6neQ

Dead Poet Society - Inspirational Takeaways

It only took a few minutes into the movie for me to realize that Dead Poet Society was going to be an inspiring one.  Specifically, I found most of the inspiration drawn from Mr. Keating and Neil Perry.

Mr. Keating was a unique kind of teacher, who challenged his students to think for themselves.  I think this is an important lesson to take with us, that we should, as he says in the movie, “constantly look at the world in a different way”.  This kind of thinking encouraged creativity, innovation, and most importantly growth.  For example, Todd started out shy and scared to speak in front of the class. However Mr. Keating was able to open him up, first with the on the spot poem in class and then eventually Todd had grown to be able to stand up for what he believed in, like in the end. I think that Mr. Keating’s class and lessons were a huge part in helping Todd reach this new strength and confidence in the end.

As for Neil, I was extremely saddened to find out he killed himself in the end, however I still look back to his character earlier in the movie as inspirational. I found him to be so full of life, hungry for adventure and just an overall charismatic person. One specific example of all of this that stands out the most to me was the scene of Neil and Todd in their room talking about acting and the club. First of all, I found Neil’s excitement, confidence and certainty in what he wanted to do and then going for it to be extremely motivational.  Then secondly, when Todd says he isn’t the kind of person people will listen to and Neil can’t fix that, I found Neil challenging him by saying “No” and “Don’t you think you could be?” to also be extremely inspiring.  He was, like Mr. Keating, encouraging Todd to grow, to realize that he wasn’t a lost cause and could be something more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUGlUTGK9LU

In case you wanted to watch the scene I m referring to one more time ^^^

Over all, the two lessons that resonated with me the most from Dead Poet Society were to keep trying to see the world in a different way and to question myself when I have doubts about what I can be!

A Single Story

While watching the Ted Talk, The Dangers of a Single Story, I was saddened to realize just how common the single story view is and how it negatively impacts people. While reflecting on the Ted Talk, it reminded me of one instance when something similar happened to me when I was abroad. Although American media is pretty predominant in the world and tends to offer all kinds of stories, I found that while I was in Australia there was one negative view about Americans that was consistently brought to light. This negative view was that all Americans carry around guns and are “trigger-happy”.  On several occasions I had people ask me questions like, “Why do all Americans carry guns?” or “Why is it a thing in the States to shoot up schools?”.  I immediately responded defensively and asked why they would ever think that? That’s when it occurred to me that when these bad things happened in the states, the stories were highlighted in Australian media.  In addition, there was also the contrast that in Australia guns are illegal and thus most Australians I talked to had very strong feelings against the fact that Americans could acquire a gun license. It was very unfortunate to realize that because of the actions of some bad people, some Australians were viewing Americans as a whole in a negative light.